Lately I've lost my focus - at least my focus on the things I should be focusing on. Like life in my household. My husband. Things I need to be doing. Like finishing the novel I'm working on. I work everyday but not as much as I should. I'm busy focusing on, well see below.
My focus entirely is on a spot in my head where I'm losing hair.
You heard right. I have one small spot on the right side of my head, in the exact position where my head hits the pillow every night.
I can't get my focus off that one spot. Wondering why I have it, how I got it. What to do about it. Questioning, will it get worse. Am I doomed to lose all my hair at this young age. Well, not so young but who wants to have a bald spot right on the side of their head at any age?
So instead of doing more important work, I think about remedies for my "balding" spot. Sure I can still cover it with hair. Am I going to be like those old guys who do comb overs? I hope not. It's not entirely bald in that one spot either for which I am eternally grateful. I spend time in shops looking at hair products. Right now I'm using a shampoo for thinning hair. Don't know if it's helping but my hair smells wonderful, sort of a minty scent.
When we go out as we do most days, I have to ask R if my "spot" is covered. I drive him nuts checking my head. He always says yes yes yes. I know he's trying to appease me. And he always says my hair looks nice but can you trust a man you've been married to for 49 years? He's prejudiced. He still sees me as the young girl he married, with loads of hair and a bounce in my step. Yeah yeah yeah.
I'm slowly driving myself wild with this hair thing. (Him too!) I've tried sleeping in other positions but no matter how I fall asleep in the middle of the night I'm back on that one spot, grinding the heck out of it. I'm a restless sleeper. I thought of wearing some kind of head gear but not sure that would be comfy. My mother wore a silk sleep cap. She was sure it kept her hair style nice for a longer period of time. I'm not sure but I did love seeing her in her pajamas and that funny sleep cap.
My husband wants me to go with the sleep cap. He remembers my mother's. I don't think that is the answer. I think the answer is to stop grinding my head against the pillow. I grind my teeth too. I wear a mouth guard.
Do they make any such thing as a head guard to keep one from grinding one's head on the pillow at night?
Who knows. My goal today is not to focus on my head, hair, bald spot. Myself in general.
I did do something the other day that has perhaps helped a bit. I did a home color job- semi permanent, a rinse on. I picked out a nice brown shade. It went on my head jet black. R was talking to our little granddaughter and he told her Nan was painting her hair black and that had her worried. I had to assure her that was not true.
When I washed the color off my hair was dark auburn. For those who know me - auburn is not a color I've ever had. But it's different and I don't notice the spot as much. The color treatment itself has made my hair fluffier. Or is that all in my mind? No, I just tossed my head and it is indeed fluffier.
I'm off here to get my mind back on my novel. I have miles to go before I sleep. How about you, do you have some things you focus on that are not all that important in the grand scheme of things?
Here's to a great day. Blessings!