Skip to main content

Tennessee Williams on writing...

I'm learning to put myself first. It should be against the law of nature to have to learn to take care of oneself. (It's usually the female who has to learn this - it comes naturally to the male species!)

It certainly isn't something I've ever been encouraged to do. I learned from strong women who were married to strong men. They taught me to take care of the men first, then the children, then the community, and then the church. I don't remember anyone ever telling me to take care of myself. If anyone did, it would have been my mother, my greatest cheer leader and fan.

Taking care of oneself is kind of like money in the bank.

A financial counselor will tell you to pay yourself first before doling out to anyone else. Excellent advice for all of us, especially writers.

I'm slowly realizing that if I don't take care of myself, nobody else will. Knock me over the head. I feel as though I've JUST learned something profound. Shouldn't I already know this at my age?

Why do I feel compelled to take care of everyone in my life except myself? No naps for me. No built in vacations. No time off. I didn't think I was a martyr - but am I?

When it comes time for me, for my writing, I'm so exhausted, mentally and physically, that I work a short time and quit. My mind is clouded with the needs and wants of others.

So, paying oneself is essential to getting the work done. My new way of taking care of my writer self is to write first thing every day before I get exhausted with the cares and woes of the day. Those I can give attention to late in the day when my mind is already full of my own work.

Tennessee Williams said, "When I stop working the rest of the day is posthumous. I'm only really alive when I'm writing." I bet he didn't wear himself out doing things for other people or worrying if he didn't. I bet he would never go to his writing wrung out like a dish cloth. No, I bet he went to his work fresh and ready to do battle with the page, with his characters, his ideas. Like Tennessee, I am only really alive when I am writing.

What do you think about the writer doing his work first? How do you handle writing and the rest of your life. Are you like me, writing hit or miss, or are you dedicated and get to your desk first thing every morning?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Comments

  1. I'm a firm believer if we don't take care of ourselves and feed our souls, we're always giving to others from the bottom of an empty barrel instead of from a fresh overflow of abundance. Good for you!

    My writing is a priority - after feeding the cats of course.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great food for thought! My writing partner/mother gave me good advice years ago when I was balancing teaching part-time and writing. Essentially, follow your own rhythm. On my days off from teaching/grading, etc. this meant doing all my 'morning' jobs then about noon settling in to plot/write til about 3 when the school bus started bringing boys home!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amen to that, sister. The older I get, the more I see the importance of taking care of myself first. If I don't fill my own bowl first, how can I give a portion to someone else in need? There's so much truth in that, and we (the last of the Cinderellas) were always taught to take the chipped plate, leave the last morsel for someone else, take the last place at the table, give the biggest piece to someone more deserving??? Ah ha! And that's the issue: I'm learning to recognize myself as a DESERVING person.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It took me some time to learn this rule about taking care of myself first. As for putting writing time first . . . well, that doesn't always happen. I try to reserve some time every evening for writing, and sometimes this works out and other times it's a while before I have a few minutes to write, and by then I'm too exhausted.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I write whenever the chance presents itself. It could be any time of the day. And yes, it seems that we are always putting everyone and everything else first, then we take care of ourselves. I think that's just the nature of a woman.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good thoughts here. I totally agree with you! So many put everyone else first and we aren't any good for anyone if we don't care for ourselves first.
    I write when I need to. The house can wait!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for the wonderful supportive comments. I am going to follow Terri's mantra. I write when I need to and the house can wait! Love it!!! It's so freeing to have someone else tell me it's okay. Is that ridiculous or what???

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ah, Spring and all her glory.

I'm enjoying the spring weather that has finally arrived in Ohio bringing blooming pear trees, red buds and tulip trees. How about you? Do you love spring as much as I do? I spent a day on the patio, putting out the table, chairs, umbrella. I painted a white wicker plant table and have decided it's too good for the patio. I plan to use it in the bathroom instead. Just when I thought winter would last forever, spring arrived with temperatures in the 70's. I noted buds covering my rose bush and a robin building a nest in the crevice of my chimney. I wanted to let them stay but they managed to leave so much debris at my front door that I had no choice but to shoo them away. Hopefully they've moved on to one of the many trees and bushes in my community, a more cozy place for raising babies. When I was a kid growing up in Putnam County, WV, I was outside at the first glimpse of the sun coming through my bedroom window. I ran through our yard, down through the orcha

The Dreaded School Pictures

This year when my children brought home their school pictures, I cringed.  These kids can leave home looking cherubic, but the minute they pose for that school photographer they are transposed into unrecognizable beings.  My middle daughter brought home pictures bearing her name and room number that couldn't have been my offspring. Nor a distant relative. I had worked for hours on this child. Her hair was parted in the middle and drawn into a cute little ponytail over each ear. Even though she is at an awkward age, she looked adorable when she went out that door. Her missing front teeth only added to her charm.  The kid in the picture has her mouth open wide displaying ugly dark gaps. Her one visible ponytail is lopsided, her part is uneven, and her bangs look like they were cut with pinking shears. I know this isn't my child because I always give my children a good haircut before they have their pictures taken. The only thing vaguely familiar is the sweater t

MY HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE...

Wednesday, March 16, 2011 High School - Poca High School, Putnam County, WV What year was it? Fall 1960 - Spring 1963 What were your favorite bands, or singers? Sam Cook, Chubby Checker, Conway Twitty (It's only make believe), Johnny Rodriquez. Meatloaf. ELvis. What was your favorite outfit? Straight skirts, blouses, cardigans or jackets, little heels. Other Outfits? Jeans and a white Dr. Ben Casey shirt. What was up with your hair? Everything. I put peroxide on it. Lemon juice, thinking it needed to be lighter. I cut it, styled it, put it in a pony tail or a french twist. Hair was the most important thing in my life in high school. And hair spray, the stiffer the better. Who were your best friends? Patti Jones, Karen Mattox, and Susie Bailey all thru elem school. Then added on Donna Dailey, Sharon "Mouse" Hackett and Janice Wick and many others. Also Bonnie Kerwood who was older than me and lived near me so we hung out listening to records after schoo