Hard to believe it's been over 90 days since Raymond passed away. Why do they/we call it passed away? Does passing away somehow sound less harsh than Death? It's still a final departure, no matter what we call it and dealing with a loss this profound is devastating. What I am experiencing is certainly different than anything I ever thought I might go through. At times I feel as though a huge ocean wave slams into me. I have to hold onto something to not be taken down. When I least expect it, I burst into tears. No prompting necessary. Other times I am able to function and go about my life in a normal fashion. I'm used to taking care of myself and doing all the things that need doing. Things he did before he became ill a number of years ago. I'm thankful his descent was slow over the last few years and he was able to enjoy the things he loved. Family was his number one love. Myself, the grandchildren, our daughters and their husbands. Then, there was his love of the
"All the characters who have housed my stories now have permanent apartments in my head - I still have tea with them." bw